Dating brings the butterflies and feelings of completeness. It is always important to be sure as a young teen to see the signs of abuse. Because you are in love, you may miss all the signs because in your eyes your partner is perfect until it is too late. We want to ensure that you are aware of the warning signs early on. Here are some areas we will discuss, so that you are able to recognize them while dating. Keep an eye out for signs of controlling, bursts of anger, unwillingness to compromise or being too private. Many of these behaviors are learned traits from their environment, so don’t assume that they are bad people, but more so misdirected.
Each of us crave a strong connection with our counterparts and will do almost anything to hold on to it even if we know it is not healthy. What is most important is to never allow that connection to leave you blinded in your relationship. Let’s talk about a controlling partner and how it can be damaging on so many levels. A person who exhibits controlling behaviors will almost always want things their way with no room for compromising. They don’t see any options other than theirs and that your opinion is useless. They are rarely honest and will most often hide things from you because to them it gives them power over you. In some relationships and at times they will make fun of you and without a sincere apology say they are sorry.
A controlling partner will more than likely do whatever they want, when they want, and how they want, but the shoe can never been on the other foot because it is a one-sided relationship. Some controlling partners can or will become physically abusive and most often have mastered the verbal abusive behaviors. Everything is a convenience for them and you must comply because if you don’t they may lash out at you. They may go as far as crying and sharing some made up pitiful story to gain your trust again. Please be cautious if your partner grabs you or just goes into an immediate rage. This is an act of defiance and they feel threatened because they feel they may be losing power over you. This certainly may not be the person for you. Please re-evaluate your relationship and consider leaving a person if they become violent with their words and physically. You are not a priority and you should run.
Does your partner get easily angered over the smallest details of things? Do they feel as though they are, always right? If you share any discord do they then lash out with anger? A good relationship allows both of you to make decisions separately and together, the ability to discuss these decisions as a couple and making time to do so. Healthy conversations mean you both bring value and worth to each other and that you respect each other’s differences. You should never feel that your worth is based on your relationship. Compromising in your relationship is a big key to making the best of your relationship. It speaks volumes on the quality of your relationship. Do not settle to someone who makes you feel less of a person and who is willing to compromise your worth.
Are you dating someone who is too private? This is not a good trait when it is over excessive. You want mystery, but not secrets. Being too private is not a good quality you look for in your relationship. If their phone rings, does your partner leave the room? Do they have a password on their phone and are they adamant on never letting you know it? If you see a message that makes you feel uncomfortable and you confront them how do they act? If they get angry and tell you it is nothing, but your gut is telling you something is wrong then, follow your gut feeling. It is always important to have a neutral unbiased friend to confide in, but keep that circle tight. If your partner hides their phone or is always texting while you are spending time together you may want to re-evaluate your priorities. Never having anytime for you and is overly private or secretive about why they can’t make time for you should raise a red flag. Whatever you do don’t compromise who you are for someone who doesn’t take the time to get to know you. Remember that you are worthy not worthless.